Georgia is a wonderful barista. She makes beautiful coffees and always seems to be happy about something. One look at Georgia and a bitter person might say, “What’s she so happy about? Why doesn’t she wipe that smile off her face?” Everyone else likes her. But some days Georgia looks happier than other days. Why? Well, we endeavored to find out after she coyly giggled, “Guess what I did last night!” Would but should teeth be so easy to pull.Fine Bagels: Georgia, do you have something you’d like to show us?
Georgia: My umlaut!
Fine Bagels: Like Mötley Crüe, Görgia?
Here Georgia makes reference to what is commonly known in both prison and middle-class rebellion-phase circles as a “stick-and-poke.“
Fine Bagels: Georgia, what led to this decision?
Georgia: I can’t afford a real tattoo.
Fine Bagels: We assure you, that tattoo is very real.
Fine Bagels: Did anyone else do this?
Georgia: Everyone did. And four of us got matching umlauts.
Fine Bagels: BFFs 4eva. So this was some sort of tattoo party?
Georgia: Yes. There were five of us. My friend Simon answered the door in his boxers with a glove on one hand and a pin in the other.Fine Bagels: Have you had a tetanus shot?
Fine Bagels: Did you at least impress a boy or your friends?
Georgia: I don’t think so.Fine Bagels: Is your mother disappointed that you can no longer be buried in a Jewish cemetery?
Georgia: I’m not Jewish.
Fine Bagels: What?
This has been an exhaustive and exhausting work of investigative journalism on the part of Fine Bagels. If you’re curious what it looks like to be bitten by a teeny tiny vampire, magnify the following photo about 15x.